i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you made out with another girl for some wings
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
