I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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