I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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