need another drink. this is the easiest way
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
