Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
