About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
