Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize