...so i touched it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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