he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
