At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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