They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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