Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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