so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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