Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
