so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
