Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You made out with two different species that night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
