I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
