I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
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Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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