OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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