"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
