i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
