I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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