love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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