imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
