apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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