no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
