"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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