Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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