At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize