me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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