butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna bring you to show and tell
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
