we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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