Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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