I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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