is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
