I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
