Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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