rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
