i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
