doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
