I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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