Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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