who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
