Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
