she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
