you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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