so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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