once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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