butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
