At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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