Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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