I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize