So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
