Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
