Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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