I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
