Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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