I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
last night I used snow as a chaser
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
