I am spending my child support on dildos
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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