just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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