Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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