It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
