i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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