last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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