my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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